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Don’t just raise money and give it to some foundation where you don’t know where the money’s going to go.

Go out and give it directly to somebody – and live every moment like it’s your last.

Still, friends say she and Tamburello always had a connection.

“Diem had such a big heart that she had room to love a lot of people, and he was one of them,” her longtime friend Alicia Quarles tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue. it’s just going to take a little longer now.” The photo showed a rosary, along with a photo of “Danielle Brown” (Diem’s given name) and a ring.

But then I found out Faith was going to be on the show, and I feel like it turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

For one, I felt like I was there with [Diem], being on there with Faith. For me to kind of poke my head out of my hole – you know, because I kind of went dark [this past year], and I didn’t want to do anything with anybody – to be able to come back on just to do a little guest spot, it was really nice.

The two of them were absolutely adorable while they were together, but that didn't stop even after their break up.

Along the way, fans of the series also began rooting for her romance with fellow castmate Chris “CT” Tamburello, whom she first clicked with on 2006’s .

“Diem approached everything in her life with bravery, courage and determination,” says host TJ Lavin in an exclusive sneak peek as he introduces Tamburello and Faith to demonstrate a challenge that brings back fond memories of Diem’s fearlessness and resilience. I don’t think it would have been right for me to just dive back into another show.

In advance of his appearance on the show, Tamburello talked with PEOPLE about how it felt to return after his unexpected departure with Diem from (they both exited when she was medically evacuated to address her failing health), how the tribute gave Faith new insight on her sister’s world and how Diem’s legacy has impacted his life – and many others’ – in the 14 months since her death. I don’t think I was, honestly, mentally prepared to do it.

The source also says reports that she accepted a proposal from him in the hospital are untrue: “They were clearly not engaged.” The MTV star had previously shared several other Instagrams about Brown, including one from her bedside earlier this fall with the caption, “Sometimes just being there for someone can be the difference between a good and bad day.” Tamburello was among the castmates who attended Brown’s emotional funeral on Tuesday, where friends and family remembered her as a “dancing angel” and requested that in lieu of gifts, donations be made to her health advocacy charity, Med Gift.

Hello everyone, My family, and I, want to thank you all from the bottom of our hearts for all the love and kind words you all have shown me during the hardest time of my life.

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